god in my truck

OK, this is two nights in a row that I've tossed and turned and flipped and flopped and generally endured the dark to dread the day. Caffeine is not the culprit. I made sure to avoid it after lunch yesterday. I'm thinking it's the personal stuff that's on my mind. Things like that don't typically keep me awake all night though. At some point I usually figure I ain't gonna get it fixed by worrying, so I roll over and eventually rest. Last night's thing had as much to do with the dull headache that traveled behind my left eye, down my ear and into my neck. It didn't let up all night long. Then I got out of bed with it this morning. I think it's a pinched nerve. That's what a friend told me anyway.

So this morning I was obviously awake before the alarm went off. I usually build in one snooze cycle to just lay there and think about the day and give the coffee time to finish brewing. I went ahead and rolled out this morning though. No sense in laying there if I wasn't going to enjoy it. Besides, the headache was getting worse and I needed to take something for it or ask God for a miracle. I did both, but thanked God for the relief - and the coffee.

Putting my suit on was a booger this morning. I didn't feel like going to the office. But the bills don't appreciate a good heachache. When I got there, I told a friend that one way to appreciate a good day is to start out with a bad one. When things get better you're grateful and have a new perspective.

On the way in this morning I didn't so much as turn on the radio or answer the phone. My head was hurting too much. So I did what we usually do when we desperately need something done on the inside. I begged to God. It started and went like a lot of my prayers do...

"My head hurts! GOD, please do something about my headache!! The little pills are NOT working!!! I know it's no tragedy or anything like that, but it's painful and it HURTS!!!! Either take the pain or KILL ME!!!!! If you love me you'll HEAL MY HEAD!!!!!! (pause) OK, first, let me back up. Thank you for all the things you HAVE done. I really am grateful, I promise. My nice little home is still standing, my old truck is still running, my kids and parents are healthy, they all still love me, I have lots of great friends, you allow me to write and share, I get to sing, I have a good job, I get to know you, we're able to talk with each other, I'll enjoy Heaven one day. There's that and more that I thank you for. And before I get back to myself, I want to ask you to show your love to everyone who is struggling to recover from the accidents and tragedies and illnesses that have suddenly ravaged their lives. Please give comfort and peace to those who are dealing with deep losses and hurtful experiences and broken relationships. Remind everyone who has been wounded that your grace is sufficient. Be with my children and my parents and my family and my friends and our leaders and even the folks I'm having trouble loving. About that, Lord, please help me to get over the anger I feel sometimes. I realize there is nothing good to come of it. Maybe that's what's keeping me awake at night. Help me reflect your grace in this. It's hard to do, but it's the right thing I know. As a matter of fact God, I ask you to bless and prosper the people I've been resenting. Let me back up some more. I guess I should've started by asking you to forgive me of my sins. My bad - again. I'm glad you know the beginning from the end. That helps. Amen."