so naive

Like everyone else who'll confess, I'll admit that I'm a person full of faults. No doubt about it, I have my own list of regrettable moments. My comfort though is in knowing that you and I are remarkably alike, and God gets it. Personally I don't know anyone who has all parts of all things together all the time. If I do find myself being really impressed with someone who seems to be right nigh-o-perfect, all I have to do is catch them on HDTV. Truth under bright lights is not always kind.

We all live in the company of the not so perfect. As ugly as my own issues are sometimes, one thing I'm mostly glad about is that God has allowed me the ability to give others the benefit of the doubt. It bites me in the butt sometimes, but I'm still more about trusting and forgiving than holding bitterness. What good would that do?

Several years ago our group was scheduled to sing on a really big concert way up north. We were excited about it. We'd only been traveling for a few years and this would be new territory for us. Exciting! Being our big date for the week, we'd routed our whole weekend tour around it. Then, just a few days before the show, the promoter called to say he was going to have to cancel - not the whole show, just our part. I told him that cancelling the date would keep us from being able to pay bills, so he said he'd send us half of our agreed fee and put us on a future, yet-to-be-named show. I was relieved and told the rest of our guys of his kind way of cancelling. Someone spoke up and said we'd never see the money. I told him to have more faith in people. He told me I was naive. OK, he was right. That sort of thing happens from time to time. You hate it when it does, but you try not make it the determiner of your mood. You'll end up angry all the time if you do.

I've made a few life and business decisions that I regret. Sometimes I've counted on a person's sense of fairness or decency or compassion and learned a lot about their heart in the end. My naivety again. It always stings a little, and the disappointment is emotional, but I hurt mostly for them. If their desire for dollars and the things it brings is more important than knowing they've done the honest and honorable thing, all they have is things, and without honor. That type of greed usually comes back around in a harsh way anyway.

I've often said that I really don't wish to be anyone's example. My life and my thoughts are probably not the model for a person who desires to be more like Christ and not so much like, well, me. But I do want to be like him. I want to think like him and act like him and care like him. I want to, but I'm not so good at it all the time. That's not a good enough reason not to try though. I don't know. Maybe I'm just naive.