8.04.2008

the patience of dad

Gosh! I love being a daddy. When I got home from my two weeks of traveling last week I was all giddy about a whole week of having my son Christian around. I don't get that very often, so it was a real treat and joy for me.

Not a slam on anyone who doesn't have or want children, but I can't fathom even in a tiny way the possibility of this earth without the presence of Christian and Casie Bishop in it. They're nearly grown up now, and sometimes a day or two will go by before we get to spend any meaningful time together, either in person or on the phone (emails, MySpace messages and texting doesn't count - although we do a lot of it). But I still cherish my moments in their presence.

I have some friends who are not good with kids, the younger ones at least. Sometimes they get down right pissy about it. One of them doesn't' hesitate to speak up and say something to the parents or the server if a small child is making noises in a restaurant. Another one mimics the sounds they make. If the kids screams, he screams. I know another guy who will ask to be seated somewhere else if the host tries to seat him next to a family with kids. He's also been known to walk out of a movie theater and ask for his money back if there are a lot of kids in it. One time we went to see a movie that was made for kids. I don't know who else he thought would be in the theater. He got so annoyed when the little ones laughed at the funny parts. I told him he needed to wait for the DVD the next time. He'll enjoy it better and so will everyone else.

It's sorta funny to me, because my kid-psyched friends notice things that I just don't. What they see as annoying I see as precious. They don't have the history of pride and fulfillment that a child offers a parent. They've never enjoyed the love or the bond of a child like I have, so I don't judge their insensitivity. I just figure it's a sorta sad lacking of the child experience and the joy that's attached.

Several weeks ago I was stuck in slow moving traffic through down town Lexington. I got to a major intersection and it was my turn to go. But cross traffic filled the lanes and I couldn't move. Some teenage girl pulled her car into the middle of the intersection and stopped. She had no choice of course. Traffic wasn't moving for her either. But she should not have pulled into the intersection anyway. It was likely she'd be blocking traffic if she did. She should've considered that I thought. So, I decided to teach her a lesson.

As I sat there, I decided that as soon as I got the green light I would lay on my horn and show her just how dumb she was and how mad I was. Then, about the time the light changed she turned to look at me and for a split second I thought it was Casie. The resemblance was remarkable. And I couldn't do it. I couldn't make this girl feel bad about being stuck in traffic. I couldn't act like a mad fool now. She wasn't my daughter, but she belonged to someone. I imagined my little girl in the same situation and hoped that if it ever happened to her someone would be considerate and give her a break.

Being a parent causes you to think about such things. You have more patience with kids and even their parents (most of the time). You choose to let kids be kids and not be so whiny and nit-picky. With so many big and heavy things to bog us down, why in the world let the noise of a child be a sore spot?

So, thank you Casie and thank you Christian for teaching me the patience of a parent.

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